Expectations you never said out loud
People rarely disagree about the expectations they've discussed. It's the assumed ones that cause trouble.
Where expectations come from
Family, past relationships, friends, and what gets portrayed online all leave behind a set of assumptions about how things are supposed to go.
None of that is automatically wrong, but it is worth knowing which of your expectations you actually chose.
Common unspoken ones
- How often you'll be in contact.
- What exclusivity means in practice.
- How money is handled between you.
- How much time goes to friends, family and yourself.
- What support looks like when one of you is struggling.
Saying them out loud
An expectation stated early is a request. The same expectation revealed after it's been missed tends to land as an accusation.
You are allowed to want something the other person doesn't want. Finding that out early is the point of the conversation, not a bad result.
CSent shares general educational information only. It does not determine whether consent legally existed, and it is not medical or legal advice.